Thursday, April 05, 2007

Lies, truths and a piece of thread.

I saw her eyes swell up as they conjured up feelings of a worn, beaten little kitten. They were painted with shades of jealousy, of resentment and of pain. You could almost see how each and every word pricked her hapless heart as she recounted past experiences that seemed to slap her right in her face; experiences that grew from little germs of insensitivity. I didn’t just see. I felt it. I felt, as I’ve spoken elsewhere, ‘the twisting sinews of thy heart’. There was seemingly so little, yet so much internal bleeding going on. No, maybe it wasn’t bleeding. Maybe her heart was just dripping with blood as she reminded herself what the words friendship, unintention and stereotype meant.

Truth to be told, we are all a bunch of absurd jokers walking on thin threads. Just like the ones we see in circuses. Threads that create the fine divisions and partitions in life which, when crossed, hurt others. It is with much contempt as I witnessed others crossing the fine thread differentiating stereotyping and being sensitive. And it is with most contempt as I saw, with my very own eyes, a seemingly untouchable girl being stabbed unwittingly by the careless wielding daggers of others. And this girl we speak of is my girl.

I am neither thirsting for vengeance nor tasting anger in my mouth. I merely saw the power of perspectives and how it is so contemptuous that we always fail to see other angles from where we are standing. It is like a few men standing around a statue before them. Each one of them will tell you with so much conviction about what they can see from where they stand, but no two claims will be the same - for no two men will bother to unroot themself to explore other perspectives. We are just like one of these few men. We only stand at our respective positions and see what we want to see, think what we want to think, although we go on claiming that we see what we saw, and think what we thought. Sorry girlfriend, that’s just not gonna work out.

Because until we are able to step out of that position and take a walk around the statue, we do not pass off judgements as conclusions. And more importantly, we do not hurt people closest to our hearts unknowingly. But the upsetting fact of life is that we rarely take that step; for we are too afraid to venture beyond the piece of thread we're stepping on.

Because simply, you might as well go and die if you fail to exit planet Oblivion.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Enough of angsty talk. It's high time we discussed a topic I really enjoy discussing – Art.

Because I've always prided myself as an artist of some sorts:

An artist, to me, has a distinct philosophy of life that is very much humane and alive, far from the passivity that the masses have so paid their dues to. He is true to his audience, for he paints not with his paintbrush, but with his heart. The brush is but the medium through which this heart manoeuvres and whispers its private thoughts and feelings to. And feelings we speak of here command a life and vibrancy of a tyger, yes, a tyger. The tyger with a soul that puts flaming gorges to shame. He is oblivious to the whinings and little musings of the masses, albeit being mocked, teased, or even condemned at some point of another. But this is the price he pays for the gem he truly values. A gem known as Individuality. A gem synonomous with Uniqueness. A gem synonymous with the Infinite Beauty of Life. A gem that has been unwittingly become You.

But I fervently believe I'm more than just the above.

First, we speak of Lies; lies conjured by incessant and untimely phone calls of pseudo-jealousy. A seemingly powerful jealousy that could turn altar wine sour. Then we speak of cookies, warm drinks and a good music album. Lastly we speak of everything else till we tired the sun with talking and sent him down the sky.

Second, we speak of the other end of the spectrum, the other side of the polarity - Truth. And the truth is simple: I've been thinking about the uncertain future and being uncertain about everything. I'm not sure of anything. We're not sure of anything.

But there's one thing I'm sure of.

I'm sure of the fact that I will do anything within my means to bring a smile on your face, keep you warmer than warm, and bring that 'light amidst the darkness' you spoke so fondly of. Even if it means traveling half the island or losing some sleep.

Cause baby, I'm loving this insomnia.

And did I mention that I'm more than just an artist of gems and paintbrushes?

I'm an artist who uses lies to tell the truth.

posted@8:01 PM

|